Lately, I’ve been more confident with my body and comfortable in my own skin than ever before…. plus I’m about ten pounds “heavier” ( I say that in quotes because I don’t consider 130ish pounds heavy and don’t really think anyone should ) than my usual weight … probably due to my giant donut intake but, whatever… totally worth it!
Baring my arms is kind of hard for me, I’ll tell you why in a second and the crazy measures I went to change them – but first I wanted to share how I over come that insecurity. I’ll probably never be 100% confident being bare arms, but I do feel awesome wearing Orange. It’s my color, it always has been and people have been telling it to me for-like-ever. The awesome lady at pop bar and my new BFF told me “Orange is your color, and it looks great with the matching lipstick” when I purchased my fruity-gelato bar covered in chocolate while wearing this look, and then I gave her a jolly high five, and BAM BESTIES. I don’t think it’s cocky or over-confident to know what works for you and use it to your advantage it will do wonders for your confidence! SO if you’re wearing something that makes you feel less-than confident, off set it with a color, a sihouette or even a shoe that you know you can totally rock like it’s nobody business – for me that’s orange!
OKAY, Let’s talk about insecurities.
I used to be cliny with my cardigans… not because it was a fashion statement but because I was so self conscious about my “Shawn Johnson arms” (you know, the ripped gymnast? she’s awesome) that I always had to hide them. If you haven’t noticed, my arms are kind of on the bigger side, at-least for my body, and not in the awesome Michelle Obama way but just in the hmm did she used to be a gymnast like ten years ago way? the answer – no, but my Dad did play pro ball for a bit and although I didn’t inherit his 6’4 height (boo), I did inheright a little bit of his muscle mass… thanks dad.
I’ve always been naturally muscular (I know, weird right) but since society tells us to be skinny and dainty, my muscles were something I wanted to loose. In college, I spent a year working out every day twice a day and dieting like a crazy trying to destroy my Shawn Johnson (SJ) arms to no avail. In the end, my waist just got smaller, and its already kind of creepy small for my body (not that I’m complaining) and my legs got kind of smaller but my arms were the same… oh and my hamster cheeks? no change there either – but thats another story. The reason? they aren’t fat… just muscle-y kind of like a gymnast – once again, thanks dad, and muscle is way harder to burn than fat.
Anyways the crazy thing is I didn’t know anything about fitness at the time, I just went about things the wrong way, semi-starving myself and pushing myself to a crazy level while looking at pictures of skinny girls (I’m not gonna lie, I had “thinspiration” picture on my fridge and near my treadmill… which was in my living room. haha SERIOUSLY). Looking back I don’t recognize that girl. I remember going to the movies and having a small popcorn with no butter and a few red vines and feeling SO GUILTY I came home and tredmilled it up for 2 hours… hahah literally all I can do is laugh now – that is so beyond insane to act that way and I should have known better, I probably did know better but it totally didn’t matter, I got sucked in and well, obsessed.
Flash forward to today – Do I hit the gym? no not really… but should I? yes totally, not to “loose weight” but just to be healthy and stuff, something I kind of need to work on! I totally admire people who are fitness-obsessed, but whole heartedly, the ones who do the research and do things the right way, not just avoid the fridge because you pasted a photo of Taylor Swift in a Bikini on it… who is like 6 foot tall so I will never, ever look like, gosh Courtney get it together! I do however walk every morning the 20 blocks and three avenues to work and back, and I don’t have a subway pass in NYC because I try to walk whenever possible! Plus I am actually planning on doing some zumba classes and other fun things when my best friends come to town for the summer (have you guys tried/heard of class pass? totally giving that a whirl) and I tried soul cycle a few weeks back and had a blast.
Anyways, my point is that we have to stop pushing ourselves to become an unrealistic version of ourselves and stop hiding our bodies, Taylor Swift body with Courtney’s face doesn’t exist and lets be real she would be kind of crazy creepy is she did lol! If we accept ourselves for who we are, focus on being healthy, happy and having fun I think we will all be in a better place. I know nothing about fitness and I’ll never, ever claim to (but in the donut field, I’m a freaking expert!) But if you want to dramatically change your body I hope you do it for the right reasons and that you find an awesome fitness blog or trainer or someone who knows what they are doing to help you (I wish I could help you here, but yo I suck at this stuff haha) and because I didn’t do things the right way or for the right reasons and all I can do is shake my head when I think about how beyond bananas and reckless I was.
I love you just the way you are (even if I don’t know you yet, I’m like a golden retriever that way, but leave a comment and maybe we can change that ) and I love me, SJ arms and all. So take off your cardigans, or whatever you’re hiding behind and embrace those not so perfect parts because perfection is crazy lame and you’re not lame at all… you’re freaking awesome!!!
GET THE LOOK:
ORANGE TANK SHIFT DRESS - Get it here or here
POLKA DOT TOTE (my new obsession) Get it here or here + crossbody version here
BROWN WEAR WITH EVERYTHING BELT – Get it here / similar here
BOATER HAT (my go-to summer accessory) Get it here / similar here
BROWN WEDGES (so comfy! Plus the make me look so tall ) Get them here
LADY DANGER RED-ORANGE LIPSTICK (my favorite summer shade) Get it here
GOLD LINK BRACELET – Get it here